Has a Russian girlfriend that can benchpress a vending machine and cooks food designed to "make little American boyfriend big and strong like glorious Mother Russia."

Once arm-wrestled a Chilean Luchadore for the last parfait in a dive bar down the road from Fancy Jerry's Boat Rentals.

Fears Japanese Monkeysaurus rexs.

Destroyed a priceless vase.

Destroys Hummers.

Hums while he destroys

Laughs as he destroys.

Destroys as he destroys.

Has played Ruby and sapphire.

Scours Youtube for short animations that show just how awesome the medium of animation is.