Is at war with a feather.

Is at war with a train

Is at a standstill (or so his delusions make him think so) of justice.

Remembers remembers that tomorrow is the Fifth of November.

Owns a Guy Fawkes mask

Should know my sense of self-worth is far to great to demean myself by owning a symbol of idiots who honestly don't give a shit about the Gunpowder Plot or the rather despicable events that lead up to it and instead spend all their time trotting around thinking "ANARCHY RULZ" and treating V for Vendetta like some grand masterpiece of fiction.

Blonde coconut.

Confuses coconuts and pine cones

Has a ranger with a pot leaf on his helmet on his Sig.

It's a Japanese maple leaf! AND IT'S NO USE!