Will take secrets to his grave.

Will rob my grave for secrets.

Sleeps in a coffin/racecar bed.

Sort of like something from Wacky Racers?

Is slightly right. It's a Hurst bed.

Does not dream of one day owning Thomas Bangalter's helmet.

Might have meant hearse.

NINJA'd by Kentucky's resident super-villian.

Goooosei Wonder Bread!

Orders us to go for something.

Follows a Creed for killing people built on a logical fallacy.

Doesn't know which creed I follow.

Might be a Templar...

*readies Hidden Blade*

Has a fundamental ideological disagreement with the Templars.

Lives in another dimension.

Plays in this one.

Parties like it's Monday nightish... whoohoo...!

Parties every night.

Believes crimefighting to be a form of partying.

Wouldn't know a good time if it walked up, introduced itself, handed him a business card and autographed photo, and then punched him square in the jaw.

Clearly wasn't there when I was one-half of Doctor Malcolm "Mal" K.T. Praktiss.

Is entirely correct because I have no idea as to what in the technicolor hell he's referring to.

Does not believe that Hell is sepia toned.

Is the wonder of Gosei... Though he makes me wonder why Gosei is still alive.

has Fears of Kyubey

Has a very red sig.

His favorite dinosaur is any kind of singing Raptors.

Is correct, though before Kyoryuger my favorite dinosaur was the Dimetrodon. It still is, it's just tied with the Raptor now.

Wants to open a real life Jurassic Park.

Would rather open a Cretaceous Park.

Opened a dojo of shotgun carrying samurais.

Knows of the Scattering Fist Dojo.

Will help me create a good clone of myself.

Allowed KyoryuGreen to continue erroneously believing that a dimetrodon is a dinosaur.

Knows, like any Paleobiology Junkie worth their snuff, that Dimetrodons are Mammal-like Reptiles.

Is not pissed/depressed.

Enjoys various media involving all things gruesome and gorey.

creator of said media

Creator of Media that isn't real in this dimension.

Wants a clone of himself.

(Also to the people above, thank you for informing me that the Dimetrodon is not a dinosaur, I haven't looked it up since I was a kid. It's good to know now.)

Is sitting next to me on his computer.

Is sitting next to me on his computer too.