Has dorsel fins.

Has shurikens and a burger

All he needs his drive.

Is agile.

Is ready to go at the count of zero

Accidently capsized the Posiedon.

Accidentally removed his own brakes.

Removed his own spleen with a laser pointer and a popsicle stick.

Had his happiness glans forcibly removed, via a very very inpresjce "surgery" involving a flaming electric hacksaw guitar.

Has oddly specific information about an event that I have never disclosed to anyone.