Should know I only drink radioactive water.

Why not add tea and have radioactive tea?

Now knows that tea weakens radioactivity.

Why not grow radioactive tea?

Asks too many tea related questions.

Smokes factory chimney-sized cigars and drinks coffee from a water tower while reading the morning paper dressed like Hugh Hefner

Stole some of my radioactive water.

Probably was chilling at a hot spring during the holidays this year with all the other kaijus

Now knows I don’t live near any hot springs.

Spent the holidays in boring ole Kansas.