Bought a Digimon TCG deck. Played against a friend. It's pretty fun. Structure deck has the typical problem of basically having a shitload of effect-less cards, making the match devolve into big number vs big number.
However, I enjoyed it enough that I might look into investing into more cards so I can actually have a deck with more than 8 cards with in game effects :lol

Unforuntely, I'm still upset about the negative comments that people give to me. No hotline is open to talk with and I don't have any transgender friends in real life to chat to. Not to mention, my online friends are probably sleeping right now. I can’t sleep right now and my mind is going crazy.

Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry you're going through that. I can't imagine anything an internet stranger is going to say right now is going to be super-helpful, but... try not to put too much weight into what internet strangers say. They only get a vote on your reality if you let them have a vote. If they're just trying to tear you down? Don't let them make you feel like they've got anything approaching a valid perspective. They're bullies, and they don't care about you. There's no validity to their perspective because their perspective is that you're not valid. You're a person, and you matter, and you have friends here that want you to be happy.

That's...super unfortunate. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Trust me, Reddit is definitely a super toxic place when it comes to gender, politics and religion so it might be best to stay away from there.

Yeah stay away from Reddit. Even the good communities are completely overshadowed by the downright awful and harmful ones.

Maybe look for a Discord group?

I feel like Walter White. Possibly having talent........ for a bad thing.

The funny thing is as an outcast internet used to be 'heaven' for me to socialize. But nowadays? Ugh.

Frequent on Reddit a lot, but I wouldn't call it a 'home'. I was just lucky to find and avoid toxic communities. Even then I'm not immune to harassment, as one dumbass yesterday called me creepy for referring to Elizabeth Olsen as Lizzie.

I hate that I somehow gain back the weight I lost despite me working out and eating no junk food. Makes me angry that I wasted a month for nothing and I may not reach my weight lost goal to start HRT by the new year. Wanting to start a new life already is making me upset because I don't like having a male body. The longer I wait, the more it starts to kill me.

I don't really have any advice as I'm still not on E despite waiting over a decade including time to come out but I'm rooting for you, you've always been cool in my book so I hope for nothing but the best

Thank you very much for the comment :).

calories in calories out

I know it's frustrating af but unless you have a very specific set of health problems that rule will always apply

if your goal is solely to lose weight, don't bother working out if it stresses you out. your diet is the only thing that matters. working out is alright if you're trying to lose weight but if you end up compensating yourself by having bigger meals then you basically stressed yourself out for nothing

when I was fat I never had junk food but that didn't stop me from having meals that were just too big

it took me a long time to realize and accept this, but despite being a foodie I apparently have an incredibly tiny appetite and can get full from the kind of meal you'd serve to a little kid. part of what made it difficult to accept this is the fact I'm asian and it's literally always been ingrained in my mind that I NEED to finish whatever food my parents served me - which is an absolutely absurd mentality to carry into adulthood especially considering I stopped living with my parents a long time ago

honestly the hardest part for me was having to accept that a part of my life is wrong and that for change to happen then I need to commit to NEVER ever going back. this particular routine or thing in my life can NEVER happen again. no binge eating. no "just one more cheat meal and I'll start dieting tomorrow". no impulsively making food at midnight out of boredom. no forcing myself to finish what's on the plate or in the bowl. no more biting off more than I can chew(literally and figuratively). that is part of the commitment you're making when you get into this

not trying to be condescending but I empathize with the frustration all too well. been there multiple times. I know I've said a decent amount as it is but take it from me - I was 250 at my worst and 180 at my best. the journey is absolutely fucking painful. but the neat part is it doesn't take long if you do it right. I did several week long water fasts to get there. some days I do a water fast just for fun. power through the mental and physical pain for just a bit - after that it's smooth sailing because your only responsibility is avoiding the awful habits and routines that led to you being overweight in the first place.