Dunno if I should do that. I don't think I deserve to have any enjoyment atm.

Why not? If we're to be honest I don't see myself making it past 35, let alone 40. I tried the whole "boring myself to death" thing and to be honest that got exhausting after a few years. Just got to the point where I figured if I'm going to be waiting for however long, I may as well make the time pass a little faster. Better to get to hell with a few fewer regrets.

Everyone, please remember: you are all worth it. Life is short enough already and trying to make it shorter is a big disservice to yourself. Trust me, you all deserve at the very minimum some enjoyment in life, no matter what you tell yourselves. If there's anything that's negatively affecting you, best attempt to distance yourself from it if possible. Have proper nutrition, drink water, get some sunshine.

Hang in there guys. You'll get through this, we believe in you!

Because every time I had some enjoyment I'm punished for it.

Which is funny because I tried distancing myself away. But it keeps pulling me back and now it wants me to stay there. Possibly permanently.

Here's the thing though, yes you may have failed in the past but does that mean you give up and let it dominate you? Or do you continue to try and move forward? Remember, giving up means zero chance of escape, but trying to improve means making progress, no matter how miniscule.

Do you have an addiction? Me too! One of them is entertainment; no matter how hard I try to peel myself off my screen to do work it seems I can't get away. But that doesn't mean I should give up. Sometimes I suceed in pulling myself away, sometimes not. The principle here is to try.

Of course, it's also possible you don't have an addiction (I was merely speculating so please forgive me). First off, good, you're already doing better than me. But at the same time, the principle still applies; you have to try to get away. Again, giving up means zero chance of success, but perseverance more often than not will allow you to win in the end.

Again, have proper nutrition, drink water, get some sunshine; they all help even if it doesn't seem like it. And do something that relaxes you (e.g. music or something, breathing fresh air). Exercise often relaxes the body so maybe do that if you can.

SengalBoy, you fought cancer and won, I have no doubt you'll be able to pull through this personal battle you're fighting. Life's not always easy, but it's not entirely crapsack either. Hang in there pal, we're here for you (and anyone else who may be going through similar downhills).

Thanks. But I've already resigned on my fate.

Also just look at how unlucky I can be. No one likes me. Not in my country, not even here, no matter where I go.

And then you got assholes like Syntax who was a huge dick to me and had the balls not to remember it (as expected, coz he's an ass) but gets away with it.

Okay, first of all, 'no one likes me' cannot be true. I'm sorry, I know I don't know your personal life but there has to be at least one person who likes you. I mean, I like you, and so do many others here on this forum. And I'm not just saying this to cheer you up, I genuinely enjoy the stuff you post here. It's been absolute bliss seeing you recover from cancer and we hope you learn to really value yourself more.

And as for people being jerks to you, there are people who are also jerks to me, online or in real life, so you're not alone in this. We just have to learn to deal with it and move on; really, the only damage jerks can do to you is if you allow their harassment to get to you.

Please value yourself more SengalBoy. We keep saying this and we'll keep on saying this: we're here for you. And this also applies to everyone else in this forum: we're here for you. We may not be able to help you physically, but we'll try in any way to help you mentally and emotionally.

I did some digging and if you're that upset and holding that much of a grudge against someone just for saying they didn't think an idea you had was absolutely amazing, then you're the ass here. I'd somewhat understand if it was an actual insult, harassment, death threats, but simply saying your idea you framed as better wasn't actually better is absolutely nothing. Especially as this is something literally over a year ago. No offense, but if you want people to like you, maybe you shouldn't hold grudges like this over petty stuff that nobody else cares about and has no real consequence

And here you are, whining to other people about it, leaving me visitor messages continuing to call me an asshole and laying down the insults when I've told you I don't even know you.

Why not be an adult and either block me if I'm such a problem, or, I don't know, tell me why I'm such an asshole. Because honestly, if you think *this* is being an asshole you ain't seen nuthin' yet and I've only restrained myself because of the rules of the forum and I genuinely don't know what the hell I did to you.

Are you referring to the Sabresaurus or whatever name they thought was a good idea? That's what this is about supposedly?