Is not latino.

Is not an American...in America!

Does not know the name of the modern Persian language which is recognized as the official language of Iran.

Said...words.

Loves the Stelio Kontos theme from American Dad!.

Is not an effeminate alien with a drinking problem.

Probably never played Spec Ops: The Line.

Wants to trap the Teletubbies in Jigsaw's death chambers, seeks to torture Barney in Buffalo Bill's lotion pit and finds Big Bird's "Blue Bird of Happiness" song to be the funniest thing he has ever seen.

He *takes a deep breath* Is my number one *takes a deep breath* and I.

Should know it's "...are my number one *deep breath and quick exhale* guy."