I'm bored soooo, some random question lets go with what is everyone's fursonas? You know you have one, so spill it or else.

Last night I had a dream that there was a McDonald's themed Transformer who looked like the Turbo Megazord, for some reason.

dunno about 'fur'sona but

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...Jello_Vibe.png

oh so it's a McAzord.

...
shoot me

Me:
Attachment 60312
Haha! Funny Joke!

well i mean if you insist

https://i.imgur.com/pRN17.png

It's made from the Roadkill Zords.

You fool that will do jack shit to his slimy, jello body.

Lemme guess. The head was a burger, the torso was a McDonalds coffee, had fries for limbs and chicken nuggets for eyes.

Hey guys.

I'd like your assistance with something.

I don't usually do this, but I would like feedback on a creative writing piece I'm doing for a university assignment. If there's anything you guys could say about this piece below that would be helpful.

I won't force you guys to read it but if you're bored or interested, feedback would be appreciated. Preferably in terms of characterisation, pacing, plot structure and/or dialogue (is the dialogue too dry?).

I'm slightly over the word limit so I doubt I'll add anything new but at least I could go over the existing material already.

In case you're interested, the prompt I used for this story is that "Aliens and humans now establish relationship with each other. However, it has been discovered that humans went extinct ages ago. So what are the humans living on Earth now?"

I might have slightly deviated from the prompt a bit though. Anyway, feedback appreciated. Thanks in advance mates.

Here's the creative writing piece:

The assembly hall was packed. The Head looked over the assembled Galactic Community. Representatives from various planets congested to discuss the latest issue.

“Let’s get to business.” The Head looked at the assembly in front of him. “Two years ago, mysterious documents were discovered in a crate on one of the transport shuttles that was carrying valuable resources from Earth. We’ve handed them over to the Research Department to analyse them and now, the Head of the Galactic Research Department has said that they’ve finished doing so and requested a meeting with the Galactic Community.”

Blarr, The Head of the Galactic Research Department, inhaled deeply to calm his nerves. “That is correct your honor.”

Blarr looked at the assembly from his podium.

“As you all know, The Galactic Community finally breached the unknown area that lies within the Oort Cloud; the final unexplored area of the Milky Way, all the way back in the 15th Epoch, 190th Rotation, 160th Year of the Pan-Spiral Calendar; 150 years ago.

“We were able to identify a solar system within the Oort Cloud Area. The third planet from its sun, called ‘Earth’ by its inhabitants, was discovered to be the only planet within that solar system to house any intelligent life form. We began contact and negotiations with them.

“On the 210th year of the same Rotation, the planet was formally welcomed into the Galactic Community. However, Earth insisted that no one set foot on the planet and that all trades relating to resources be conducted on a space colony that orbits the planet. No ambassador from Earth has also ever attended a Galactic Community assembly. As a result, no one knows anything about Earth…until now.

“As you have all heard, mysterious documents were found in a crate on one of the transport shuttles. We concluded it came from Earth as they contained some languages previously unseen in the galaxy as well as the presence of unknown bacteria. After months of radiation cleansing and machine translation we skimmed over the documents and-“

“Skimmed?” someone interrupted. “I thought you were analysing them?”

Blarr pressed a button on the tablet in front of him. A series of texts was holographically projected across the assembly hall.

– Food’s running out. I don’t know how many survivors are left. We’ve tried going on supply errands but it’s no use. They keep finding and killing us. –

– Everything’s gone to hell. At this point death seems like a sweet release compared to being kept alive by them. Whatever they are. –

– I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die. Why is this happening? Is this divine punishment upon us? Are we to pay for our sins by being killed by them? –

“As you can see,” said Blarr, “these documents all recall Earth’s inhabitants being attacked by an unidentified threat that systematically infiltrated their societies before proceeding to wipe out vast populations. No need for a deep analysis to paint a picture for us.”

A murmur swept through the room.

“So a weapon capable of destroying civilisations did exactly what it did. So what?” The Minister of Planetary Defense waved her hand nonchalantly. “We’ve dealt with this before on many planets; it’s nothing new at this point.”

“With all due respect ma’am, the documents refer to the threat as ‘them’, not ‘that’ or ‘it’.” Blaar sipped a bottle of water. “Whatever this threat was, the documents imply an intentional attack upon the writers that was clearly discriminate in nature.”

“Are you trying to tell us that we’re looking at an ethnic cleansing of global scale that occurred in the past?” asked the Minister of Foreign Affairs.

“This is the most disturbing part sir,” continued Blarr. “We carbon dated the original documents and dated it back to a mere century ago. Considering how the Galactic Community identified at least 9 billion life signatures on Earth when the planet was discovered roughly 150 years ago, and that roughly the same number exist now, how did they cover such a massive extermination that happened 100 years ago? It might be beyond my right to say this, but if you factor in Earth’s current foreign policy and…I don’t believe I have to voice my suspicions yes?”

Another wave of murmur.

The Head then turned to assembly. “There you have it everyone. We will decide our next action based on majority vote. Anyone in favour of doing a possible surface investigation on Earth must vote now.”

(-)

5-027 stood in the center of the meeting hall.

Surrounding him were Earth’s world leaders, each one influential and powerful in their own right. It was said that the old race once gathered together in a similar manner in an attempt to unify their various countries and territories under a common goal. Those splintered nations, united as one, would serve as a deterrence against the old race’s self-destructive nature.

Not that 5-027 cared anything about the old race. The Head motioned to 5-027, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Earth Head Ambassador 5-027, reporting,” said 5-027.

“What is your report?” inquired one of the world leaders.

“A concerning situation has arisen,” reported 5-027. “We do not know how, but the embassy has been forced to conclude that the aliens have acquired records potentially written by the old race.”

A silence permeated the room for a few seconds, as if the world suddenly froze over. Then, the sound of murmuring swept across the meeting hall.

“…What?”

“How did they acquire such documentation? We destroyed all proof of the old race’s existence before the negotiations with the aliens were in earnest!”

“We spent far too much time and resources to set up those faux-bio-signal emitters within the cities! Are you telling me the aliens were able to figure out that the old race no longer exists?”

“If they find out the old race is gone, they’ll accuse us of ethnic cleansing! Even worse, they’ll use this as an opportunity to take control of Earth! After everything we went through to liberate it from out creators!”

“Idiots! This concerns more than the old race; this is a matter of global security! The only mode of contact between Earth and the outside is through the trade colony! Who knows what was in those documents? All of our secrets are also at risk!”

The murmur slowly increased into a loud cacophony of noise.

“This is a serious blunder! Who’s in charge of security in the trade colony?!? They should be interrogated and admonished immediately!!!”

“That’s enough!” a loud voice permeated through the air. 5-027 looked at the one who interrupted the hall’s chaos.

It was A7-77B, the world leader who managed Earth’s third largest territory. “Everyone,” said A7-77B, “we do not know yet if the aliens really did acquire proof of the old race as the Head Ambassador says, and even if they did we don’t know how. So why don’t you all cool your heads so we can come to a proper conclusion?”

The voices in the hall slowly faded. “Thank you everyone.” A7-77B nodded at 5-027. “Head Ambassador, please explain how you came to this…discomfiting conclusion.”

“Earlier this week, the embassy was contacted by the outsiders,” continued 5-027. “They asked some rather odd questions regarding the wellbeing of our people before making an odd ‘request’. They did not specify their reasons but requested a full scan of the planet as well as permission for landing teams to operate on the surface-”

“And how is this related to the old race?” interrupted another world leader. “As far as we know they might just want potential locations for ground colonies despite our insistent refusal.”

“That is a reasonable possibility,” continued 5-027. “However, despite our efforts to deter them, they were strangely insistent on landing on the planet. What is more, the sheer amount of landing parties they wished to send was more than necessary for a simple surface sweep. It might as well be an invasion.”

The assembly hall descended back into chaos.

“Enough!” the Head shouted. “Everyone, you have heard the Head Ambassador’s report. Invasion or not, what is important is that the aliens have demanded passage to our surface despite our clear stance on that matter. We must now vote on an appropriate action to take.”

(-)

A7-77B stared out of the window.

“So…how was the assembly?” asked his driver, looking at A7-77B through the rear-view mirror. “You’ve been quieter than usual ever since the meeting ended two hours ago. Something must have happened there.”

Another minute of silence passed in the car.

“Did you know this would happen?” A7-77B asked the driver, breaking the silence. “They all decided to prepare their defensive measures in case something ‘exciting’ happens. And need I remind you that if they ever find out that you were among the ones who snuck the documents into the transport shuttle-“ “Relax. If they ever find out you can fire me on the spot to remove any liability,” the driver chuckled.

“I’m not just talking about my status! If they find out that you’re actually a…” The driver raised up her hand. “Right now, we need to let our friends out there know what’s happening here; that Earth is not as pristine as they think it is. That’s most important right now.”

A7-77B sighed. “This is going to be a long ride…”


I hope you enjoyed reading this if you did. Even one piece of feedback makes all the difference. Thanks guys.

Wow.

Seriously, that's amazing. I'm not really sure if I can say anything helpful, but this is really good wrighting.

I can feel the characters emotions, and the way things are and aren't explained gives off this "what's going on" feeling. I wish I could explain my thoughts on this a little better, but I don't really know anything about wrighting. People tell me I'm good at it, but I don't really know how.

But this isn't about me. This is about that really good thing you just wrote. And I wish I could say more about it, but it was really good.

Pretty cool story here!

I know you used pronouns to be purposefully ambiguous for the story, but there are some other places where it might be helpful to the reader to establish the subject.

In these lines:

1) “If they find out the old race is gone, they’ll accuse us of ethnic cleansing! Even worse, they’ll use this as an opportunity to take control of Earth! After everything we went through to liberate it from out creators!”


2) “This is a serious blunder! Who’s in charge of security in the trade colony?!? They should be interrogated and admonished immediately!!!”

For example 1, I think it would read stronger if the subjects were identified.

If the [Galactic Inquisition] discover that the old race is gone...

You can also play a world-building narrative trick here by referring to a similar event in the past with foregone conclusions. So instead of "...take control of Earth" it can be "...begin another purge". Take control of Earth is ambiguous in the grand scheme of things.

In line 2, it is a simpler fix using active voice. "Whoever is in charge of security should be interrogated..."

Lastly, returning to line 1, personally I think the concept of ethnic cleansing is a very human construct. I would consider how another species or highly intelligent group of multi-species would view something that is akin to a false eugenics.

I hope those suggestions didn't come off as harsh or anything! Science fiction short stories that make you ask What If have always been my favorite form of media.

Thanks for the feedback y'all. I changed some pasta accordingly and have already submitted it.

Here's hoping it gets a good result.

Good luck!

A friend of mine who I haven't seen since primary school sent me a friend request on Facebook. Don't know how they found my Facebook profile but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless. Needless to say, I accepted it.

I am here and trying my best. I'm thinking about writing reviews of toys, but probably won't.


That's awesome! I hope they're a cool person.

I try to post a picture, but it didn't load. You can view it here on my Twitter account.

https://twitter.com/Guyver_Spawn/sta...136386/photo/1

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EykeWPtW...jpg&name=large

Adorable! Lilly was worth the wait!

Aww, cutie!

Absolutely adorable!!!

Oh my word that puppy is so cute! Again, congratulations!

What an achingly cute doggo!

That’s an adorable pup.

OMG, so cute! <3

So like...does anybody else hate the website CBR like I do? They have some interesting articles that are fun to read, but almost all of them are loaded with spoilers. Heck, even some article titles have spoilers in them. I've been avoiding them as much as possible lately, but now I think I'm going to ensure that I specifically avoid them. Does anybody else have any thoughts on this?

Oh my god, they are unreadable nowadays. They used to be an award-winning site for comics journalism, but now it's all clickbaity spoiler stuff. All of their "news" is just them ruining the ends of stories, or turning jokes from comics into reactionary headlines.

There was a headline they ran a year ago that I'll never forget, because it was the one that made me stop going to that site. The headline was "A Former X-Man is Addicted to [SPOILER] and Will CUT YOU to Get Some", and the story was a recap of a joke in a New Mutants issue where Magik says that coffee was worth killing for. IT WAS A JOKE, and they ran it like it was some scandalous gossip you needed to hear.

They used to win actual awards for their journalism!!!

Yep. I couldn't figure a way for these type of things to get out of my recommended internet feed so I turned off all the feed on my phone.

I just finished Mobile Suit Gundam and saw an article about the creator being infamous for killing a lot of cast members in his shows. I went in expecting an article about how he was influential in pushing mech anime into darker directions and such, but they basically just listed off who dies in his most popular shows.

Like...seriously?

I get that these shows are from the 70s and 80s, but you have to think about who might want to read an article like that - somebody interested in learning more about his work and maybe watching a few shows. They probably don't want to know every twist and death going into them. The people who already know the details of what happens in these shows will probably already be aware of his "kill 'em all" nickname and how he got it (because they've seen the shows).

Considering I've read their articles before, I should have known to just avoid the article altogether. Thankfully I realized pretty quickly and managed to avoid the worst of the spoilers...but they still told me lots of things I would have preferred to not know. Now I'll definitely never make that mistake again.

Holy shit fuck today.

You okay mate?

Need a new job badly.

Please explain to me how a package going from Georgia to Florida goes from Jacksonville to Roanoke Virginia? It was in my damn state yesterday and they sent it up to Virginia!

After more than a year of being stuck at home, I finally found a job! Granted it wasn't the type of job I was familiar with (basically making T-shirt, mugs and sticker prints) so I had quite a lot I needed to learn. Though unfortunately since their previous graphic artist suddenly bailed on them, There is literally nobody there to train me and I had to spend almost a week watching and reading tutorials for the programs they use. The closest I had to a mentor there was my boss's daughter who just hangs around the office and was the one who taught me how to operate the cutters.

Seriously though I never once expected myself to be working on a shooting range. And it kinda makes me a bit afraid of my boss.

Congrats! Good job getting yourself up to speed!

Because I stole it!

Be afraid of surprise gifts.

I now own more Momotsuki Nashiko gravure than any adult woman has any excuse to own.

googles name

I can respect that.

I did finally cave and order a little Buster acrylic keychain as well, lol.

You need an excuse??

Ah, there we go. Very cool.