[XW1n5t0nX]

Okay then. Well...yeahhhhhhhhhhhh, get ready to call me a dick.

This came off as a complete mess to me. It isn't structured at all in the sense that it doesn't have the typical story structure (a beginning, a middle, and an end). In all honesty, it doesn't even have a story to even give a format to. It also doesn't have a narrative flow in it which ties into the biggest problem with it; it's too short. It's nothing more then a paragraph, and a very short one at that (four sentences long not counting your break). This means that there is pretty much no detail in it and leaves the story as nothing but bare bones. If this was a description of the series and not an episode, then the length would be acceptable. But it's clearly an episode (why else would you number it?).

You also have a few grammar mistakes in there in that some words aren't fully spelled out. It's easy to figure out what they are, but it's still something to check over before you post it. We all make mistakes like that every so often when writing and might not even notice them until we've already posted the piece. So it's just something to really pay attention to and look out for when you're getting everything ready. It may take you a while to read over everything and make sure everything is how it should be, but it's better to spend time making sure everything is correct then to just present it with stuff not fixed or correct.

I give you points and a round of applause for wanting to contribute your own writing to the forums and actually posting it, but the execution is really bad. It's unfocused, it has zero story which also gives it a lack of structure/narrative flow, it's too short, there aren't any details, and you have a few grammatical spelling mistakes. Overall, it's just an unfocused mess to me. I think it would have benefited more from taking the time to write it out and give it some meat to it's bones and have an actual story and structure/flow to it then just posting it because you have the idea. The best stories take time and effort.

It's just an overall bad episode, it's honestly probably the worst bit of writing I've read in this part of the forum.