[Kamen Rider Lolita]

#RuleOfThree

I suppose it’s only fair I go into detail.

We’ll be moving to London next year. It sounded fun and exciting at first, but I didn’t think we would actually move. I thought it would be a “what if” scenario and that’s it. The more I thought about it, the more I realised I didn’t want to go. I can’t stay with Nana because it would be too hard for her to look after me (I have anxiety, don’t go outside very much and need help with things like washing my hair), plus it would be a drain on her money.

Another thing that worries me is that we can only stay in the house for a year, then we’ll have to move again. Whether we find somewhere else permanently in London or go back home, I don’t know, but it’s likely we’ll be staying in London. We’ll be taking our essential and important belongings with us and everything else will be put in storage, but the thought of relocating again scares me. Knowing me, I’ll have finally gotten used to the place and then it’ll be time to move. Also, the decorating, the rearrangement of the furniture—all that rigmarole.

We already live in the North of England, so it’s not like we’ll be moving to another country—just a different part of the same country. I think I’m just sad to be leaving this house. We aren’t exactly friendly with the neighbours but we aren’t enemies either; we just don’t have much interaction with them. But we’ve been living here since 2004. As morbid as it’s going to sound, I think I expected myself to die while living here.

Mam said she wasn’t sure if we should put any Christmas decorations on the window this year because of the move, and I said something like, “Why not? We aren’t moving until March. Different if we were moving in early January.” I then asked on what date we’ll be moving, she said the first, which is earlier than I thought. I thought we were moving at the end of the month. That set me off. I tried to hide that I was upset, but Mam caught me crying. We talked about it. She feared I was going to do something to myself.