[Kamen Rider Die]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Switchblade

I feel so sorry for the poor bastards who live and/or work in the top floors of that building. You know that "several lower stories may repeatedly turn into a dragon and fly away, dropping your office full-force into the newly vacated space" was never mentioned in the renter's agreement and there's no way that insurance covers that.

TENANT: Hi, sorry to bother you, but I was having a little problem.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: What can I do for you?

TENANT: Well, I was recently trying to take the elevator up to my office on the 14th floor, but for some reason the elevator kept dropping me off on the 22nd floor.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: When was this?

TENANT: Oh, it was during that eclipse last week.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: Tuesday's eclipse or Friday's eclipse?

TENANT: Friday's eclipse.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: Oh, sure, that's easy. The Dragon Cathedral left to devour the soul of a decorative vampire monster, and it took about eight floors with it, so the 22nd floor actually was the 14th floor.

TENANT: The -- I'm sorry?

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: The Dragon Cathedral. And, I mean, I know what you're thinking.

TENANT: You absolutely do not.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: It is a load-bearing Dragon Cathedral, which would normally jeopardize the structure of the entire building when it leaves to help Kamen Rider Kiva vanquish the Fangire menace.

TENANT: The Fangire menace.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: Yep, them. Luckily, when the Dragon Cathedral flies away, the top six floors just drop straight down, so there's really nothing to worry about.

TENANT: Six floors of the building just drop onto the rest of the building?! And there's nothing to worry about?! Are you being serious with me right now?

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: We haven't had anyone move out yet, so I'm assuming there haven't been any problems.

TENANT: Well, here's the first, buddy! I refuse to work in this insane building a minute longer.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: Huh. I guess you could always bring it up with the Tenant's Association. They might be able to get you out of your lease.

TENANT: Well, fine, give me their number.

BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT: Oh, they don't have a phone. They actually live in the belly of Dragon Cathedral, playing chess and turning into the occasional werewolf sword. I can tell them to swing by your office, see if they can help you out. That said, the Dragon Cathedral is sort of the final arbiter, and that thing is not happy with folks who want to break a lease. Just FYI.

TENANT: ...I cheerfully withdraw my complaint!