[Kamen Rider Die]

LET’S LOOK! ONLY YOUR 48 RIDERS - EPISODES 37-48+EX



Jesus Christ, we’re all done! Certainly more of a trial than a reward, but still a worthwhile exploration of OOO’s contribution to the Phase 2 Net Movie canon. After crunching the numbers with my own panel of Kamen Rider mascots – PoppinGummy, Negataros, Captain Ghost, and Sabaki – here’s how I’d rank the various premises of these Net Movies, from Best to I’d Rather Watch That Final Tsurugi Episode Of Kabuto A Billion Times Than Watch Another One Of These:

State of the Union
Bell Peppers
Partner Fight
Marriage Meeting
Lucky Food
Poker Battle
Lucky Color (Ice Cream)
Shocker Family

Honestly, it’s just the first two that reliably delivered throughout. (I could’ve watched a hundred more of the State of the Union sketches. Exactly my sense of humor.) The middle four had a few hits and misses, but were mostly just okay. The final two took FOREVER to get to the new footage, and rarely ever felt like there was even half of a joke inside. If you’re not an insane person like me who feels the need to watch everything, just watch the State of the Union and Bell Pepper ones. For the final time, though, Let’s Look at what we learned!

-How to make bondage safe and fun for the whole family
-How to smuggle some light nutrition into meals
-How to ruin a joke sketch by treating the stick as the unfinished form of ice cream, rather than individual ingredients that are less appetizing in isolation, but I guess the grips in charge of setup wanted to be done for the day and a bunch of sticks are a way faster set of props
-How to cheat at cards by having an additional card beyond the maximum
-How to defeat your girlfriend’s disapproving father with hidden massage skills and a minor amount of lethal strikes
-How to defeat a picky eater through aggrieved insults and a lack of clarity as to what constitutes a Kamen Rider
-How to defuse tension with a friend by recognizing the boundaries of your friendship, especially the physical ones
-How to be a good member of the Kamen Rider fan community by not dwelling so much on the more inflammatory or embarrassing corners of the franchise, and allowing them to merely be quaint diversions from the mean
-How to, uh… man, what? The fan sprays water and then the kid gets doused from above? What the hell?
-How to recover from a terrible sketch by calling back one of the most amazing jokes from Kabuto
-How to berate the staff
-How to cheat at cards by HEY WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE
-How to be a good member of the Kamen Rider fan community by not getting hung up on the details of a show, like when a series says there’s going to be 48 short films and then suddenly there’s a random 49th one about G3

Glad I finally watched these, even if they will do me no good on tomorrow’s rewatch of Den-OOO. Why was Kivat in these, again?