[SideswipePrime]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRX

Could I get some help on this one?

For the past two years, I've been questioning my feelings towards my best friend. It used to be that I could say with 100% certainty that I only thought of her as a friend.

Then, in 7th Grade, I had a dream.

In this dream, I was in a room that was a bit like a mall, except everything was gray and all of the racks and shelves were empty, forming a labyrinth. There were two other people in this dream: my at-the-time crush, and my best friend (who was only my friend at the time). I was following my ATTC through this labyrinth. However, I made a turn at one point, away from her, and found my best friend walking toward me, smiling.

Upon reflection, I noticed that it was after this event that people began shipping the two of us together. The most famous case of this was my 8th Grade Literacy Block teacher. She was convinced that, at the very least, I had a crush on my best friend. It used to be that I would imagine my ATTC as the person that I would marry. Now, however, my mind defaults to my best friend.

The parts of my day that I look forward to the most are when I can see her. Whenever I'm talking to myself, I always pretend that I'm actually talking to her. I want her to be happy, and I try to seize every opportunity that I can to at least get a chuckle out of her. I know that I can count on her to lift my spirits whenever my family puts me down in the dumps.

And yet, despite all of this, all of the motivations, thoughts, emotiions, actions, despite all of this…

I'm not sure whether I love her as anything more than a friend.

I can understand the reasons for why—my religion won't allow me to pursue anything beyond friendship with her, I'm a chemical target-practice range known as a teenager, and I don't have a basis for what true love is. Nevertheless, I'm asking you what you think. I could really use a little human guidance on this one.

There is marriage (but let's not turn this into religious discussion) but I know that isn't an option. In my past experiences, confessing my love was pointless for that very reason. Ok, so they know...I can't act on it (unless I were willing to break my religion's rules, which I'm not), so what's the point? I've gotten to the point in my life, where I'm single, and I'm ok with that. Do I want to get married and have a family? Heck yeah I do! but I'm not ready for that yet. Once I know I'm ready, I'll start looking for a relationship, which would hopefully lead to a happy marriage. I didn't help, did I?