[XW1n5t0nX]

Let's start with the positives. First even though it is the first episode I give you three a lot of credit for doing an evolution themed Sentai. It's an idea which I find pretty interesting to do since you mostly only see themes like that in Kamen Rider. So props for doing evolution in Sentai. Secondly it has a bit of an Akibaranger feel to it, which I enjoyed because well, I go gaga over anything Akibaranger and thus like stories that have a bit of the same feel to it. So that's cool.

That is where the positives end.

The format is really crappy in my opinion. While everything is broken up into scenes, almost all of them are too short to me. A scene really shouldn't be a paragraph long. That is also a critique I have, why is everything crammed into paragraphs? Dialogue shouldn't be included in one unless it's starting the paragraph off or at the tail end of one. And considering your slamming that stuff in between the detailing of what all is happening, it's pretty bad in my opinion. Also don't just rely on colored sections of text to let the reader know who is talking. Colored text (IMO) should only be used for human characters when they are in the suits, and can be used for villains freely. But for regular old conversations? No. It won't kill you to indicate who is talking without the use of color, the same way it wouldn't kill you to space everything out.

The story introduces who everybody important is and does give them their powers. Fine. The action is there and there's a first fight. Cool. The problem? It's all in a jumbled mess because of the way you formatted the bloody thing. It's important for the reader to be able to tell what is going on. They cannot do that when everything is crammed together.

My final critique and about 50% of the reason I do not like this (and Modranger) is this: this is nothing but *narcissistic* . If you want to use real life events to go into the world of your story, fine. If you want t give some of your traits to a character, that is fine. But the minute you throw yourself by name as a character in there you lose me. To me that is pointless to do. It's just you guys sitting around and saying "Uhhh let's write a Sentai but it's about us!" Dude you have people alone with the evolution idea. You do NOT need to include yourself and other members in the story. Modranger is worst though since it's a big *display of narcissism* of all of the staff pretty much. So at least this one isn't as big, so I'll sort of give you that.

Bad formatting which creates jumbled story and action does not make for good storytelling, especially for a first episode. Combined with a disliking for basically throwing yourself in there for no good reason and you can guess my verdict. Grading it purely based on the episode and everything within it story wise and technical wise, you get a 2.5/10. Throwing in my personal little gripe brings that down to a 2.