[Switchblade]

Just getting around to this now. I've had it downloaded for ages, but my total lack of interest in AU Gaim has left me dragging my feet. I've decided to post my thoughts as I go through the film.

Wizard part first:

Haruto speaks English pretty well.

Hey, it's Mayu, Yuzuru, and Todoroki! Honestly did not expect to see them in this.

The dude in the fur coat looks really, really familiar.

Man, that was a simple handwave to explain Beast's inevitable return.

Something about Ogre eating the other Phantoms just looks really Monty Python to me.

Orange, banana, grape, and melon donuts. Gee, what a strange and natural coincidence.

Koyomi lives! This would be really shocking if a) every other non-human sidekick who died at the end of a Neo-Heisei show hadn't done it first and 2) anyone gave a rat's ass about Little Miss Too-Busy-Idoling-To-Appear-On-The-Show.

Nitou knocks out Haruto so he doesn't have to witness Beast defeating Koyomi. That's adorable; Nitou thinks he can win a fight.

Still loving the Beast Hyper suit.

Oh, look, Beast accomplished nothing. I am truly shocked to the core of my very soul.

Seriously, Wizard, stop pretending that Koyomi was enough of a character for anyone to feel sympathy for her.

Platforms and heels? Why not just put her on stilts?

Not a fan of that camera spin. Interesting effect, but kind of disorienting.

lol Shunpei.

Beast to the inevitably ineffective rescue!

Ogre's whole "awakening the Dragon" plan really makes no damn sense if you know anything about how Wizard works. Dragon is sealed; he's not going to manifest no matter what you do. Even if he could, Haruto is too awesome to allow it.

And Koyomi's dead again. Likely because they could only get the actress long enough to film two scenes.

Yep. Too awesome to allow it.

Cool use of recycled footage. $10 says this is how they get the Infinity Ring back. Also, lol still trying to make Koyomi seem relevant.

Ah, mooks. The only thing Beast is allowed to kill. He's like the Heisei version of Tackle.

Okay, so they got her for three scenes.

And cliffhanger for the team-up portion.

Gaim bit now:

I guess we know which Fourze actor is still available.

Welcome back, Nago. You're still crap.

I'm starting to get depressingly jaded about seeing the older Heisei suits again.

Did not miss this version of DJ... oh fuck, they're "dancing" again.

I feel embarrassed for everybody involved in this scene.

I'm not sure what's worse: AU Gaim in general, or AU Gaim based on the early days of the show when it was all dancing and random fights.

Aw, look at cute little pre-evil Micchy.

Oh, shit, it's Date. Best part of the film confirmed.

Why is Date holding a guitar? Who cares! It's Date!

Date is apparently now Nobunaga. How/why the hell is this movie coming full circle back to Birth's first appearance in Movie War Core?

Oh come on, random suit actor pretending to be Eiji, you can do way the hell better than that against Red Gaim.

Jeez, you ride off on your bike but make Micchy run after you. Classy, Kouta. No wonder he tries to kill you.

I totally believe that was real rain and not just a CGI filter. Totally.

Oh, Ieyasu! That guy whose name I remember from that Japan class I took in college even thought I don't remember what he actually did that made him famous! Apparently he was a total douche!

With a stupid hat!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but this scene would make way more sense if Ieyasu was played by Shunpei's actor.

Okay, so she has a gun, these dudes have spears, but they're also wearing track jackets but everyone else is in period clothing. Consistency, people!

Terui!

Akiko.

Ugh. This is so much less awesome than a canon team-up would've been.

Dude, you do not want to hitch your horse to early-show Ryugen's wagon. You'd almost be better off with Beast.

Ugh, Inoue-era Makamou. At least the Joker Undead hasn't shown up yet. I get that old suits are cheap, but it always pisses me off when they reuse that one.

Ah, the first appearance of the highly popular and frequently used Kiwi Arms.

Yep. Early-show Ryugen.

Words I would never use to describe Beast: "War God."

So why is Bujin Gaim the scary one when it's the frog monster thing doing most of the work?

Oh, man, that dude's hair.

How much longer is this thing? 27 minutes. Man...

Oh wait, Haruto is here. Interest renewed.

Oh goody. Telling Kouta why he should fight. Totally didn't get enough of that on the show.

Loving Haruto in the background, hanging around waiting for the newbie to stop whining.

Okay, so that's how we get Infinity back. Good to see they aren't just ignoring the last two episodes of Wizard.

Actually, the more I look at it, the more I'm starting to think this isn't an AU like the damn soccer movie. Nobody on the show ever talked about the crazy trip to Samurai Land, but nothing here seems to be blatantly contradicting the show.

Pineapple Arms is still kinda dumb.

Wow, actual miniature work. Cool.

Wait, where the hell is... oh, never mind. Yay Haruto!

Gotta love Random Zangetsu.

It's Micchy and Nitou! Somehow our heroes' odds just decreased!

Infinity form. Still an awesome suit.

Did Bujin Gaim just merge with a tree. Is this Final Fantasy V now?

Okay, this with Blonde Mai probably won't match up with the show. But I'm guessing whoever wrote this had no idea what the hell she's supposed to be.

"Orz?"

The Lockseed voice is not working for these Arm phrases. Especially the Orz one.

Oh man, that reminds me, I never watched the Wizard movie.

Okay, that bit with Nitou forgetting which one was Haruto was cute.

Zangetsu is too cool for space time.

Seriously, why is this guy dressed like a beach bum with samurai robes? Explain, movie.

Lend us your power and inspiration fake duplicates of the older Riders that we have no emotional connection to!

Okay, the Watermelon Arms soccer ball thing was eerily prescient of the Gaim summer movie.

"Finally raining?" Was lack of rainfall in this world a thing? Did I miss a line somewhere?

Cute joke about the Helheim fruit that is kind of creepy knowing what the show would end up doing with them.

Ryouma and Yoko. Holy crap, we just had two female Riders in the same movie. Technically.

And it's over. It was okay. Nowhere near as good as Mega Max or even Ultimatum, but still pretty decent. More Haruto is always a good thing, even if the Wizard portion hinged way too much on the idea that the viewer gave a rat's ass about Koyomi. Again.

The Gaim portion was pretty meh. Not bad, per say, but it didn't make a ton of sense and totally wasted all the cameo appearances. I'm really confused about how the hell this samurai world thing works, too. I'm also getting really tired of seeing all the old Rider and monster suits running around. It might be different if any of the real actors had returned, but they didn't and I'm totally over the ghost suit thing.