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Thread
:
What is the worst movie you've ever seen?
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08-29-2016, 04:24 PM
#
10
AgileSiamang7
The Patient Observer
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Wakanda
Posts: 1,093
Hercules (2005
). Apparently it was a mini-series, but I borrowed it from blockbuster on one disk, and it played like a long movie, so I'm counting it. They needlessly switch around parts of the myth, or just alter them for nonsense reasons. Oh, the Stymphalian Birds? They're just harpies, from the same flock seen earlier in the movie. The Nemean Lion? It's just a sphinx. The Cretan Bull? It's just the leader of a gang, who happens to be Antaeus, who happens to also replace Cerebus as a Labor, and who also happens to be Hercules actual father in this story, not Zeus. Aren't we clever with are switcheroos....fuck this movie.
Also Megara and her children with Hercules absolutely hate him, so Hercules can't even have a loving family (before they're still violent deaths).
Jinn
on Netflix has great potential, which it completely ruins. I'm not even particularly sure when exactly it drops the neat idea it was going for, but I'm not re-watching it to pinpoint the moment.
The animated Ironman and Dr. Strange
movies Marvel made years back. I can't remember if the Ironman movie was the year of the Downey film, or just before, but man was that a mess. And the Dr. Strange film thought it would be smart to take a bunch of spellcasters, and reduce them to magic weapon melee fighters, with Strange only pulling off some of his usual wide array of spells towards the end.
Helen of Troy
, which is a surprising movie to exist the way it does, because I didn't think the moralistic 50's would try to make a movie about how it's cool to show two adulterers drive entire nations to war just so that they can bone, but hey, something can always surprise you. Odysseus is portrayed as a crooked schemer, just for being on the "bad guy" Greek side, Menelaus, who I'm not defending or claiming to be a great guy, needs two other guys behind him to "dare" take on Paris, and really, is this movie trying to make me side with or like Helen or Paris? They're assholes, always have been assholes, and if I'm going to give
Troy
credit, they got the characters' personalities right (even if they killed of Menelaus, who's supposed to live on).
I could have had two more, but I have such vague memories of these films, that I can't even remember their titles, or most of their premises.
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