[Kamen Rider Die]

KAMEN RIDER KIVA HYPER BATTLE VIDEO - "YOU CAN BE KIVA TOO!”



Oh, HBVs. I really do enjoy them. This one's the first in what would be a few years of Branching Path HBVs, with a couple minor choices you make throughout the story. (The last one I remember doing it this way was... Gaim? I think Drive was back to the linear short film approach.) It's cute, in an emerging-technology way. Nothing's too perilous of a choice, and it's easy to feel like you accomplished something.

It's a little weird to see it applied to Kiva, though? It's a goofy story about Nago, Otoya, and Wataru training You The Viewer to be as strong as Kiva. It's fun in a minor Net-Movie way, with some good-natured teasing and a lot of enthusiasm. There's some exercise (IXAcise, of course), some action, and a new HBV-exclusive form that is like Kiva lost a fight with a box of crayons. Everything is built to make you think you're getting physical and emotional support from the men of Kamen Rider Kiva, and that you could be the next Kiva.

It's just... are those things any kid wants? Or should want? Any of it?

I mean, not to get into something I'll probably spend a bunch of time talking about in the Series Wrap-Up post, but, who would want to hang out with any of these characters? This isn't Den-O, where you're going on an exercise adventure with all of your favorite monster friends. This is Kiva, where your tutors are a sweet boy who is just starting to get wrapped up in romantic turbulence; a dude who thinks the main skill a child should learn is how to pick up women; and Nago, who is psychologically unfit to be a positive role model to anyone. They are all horrible mentors! Even the very sweet teenage boy who is the star of a superhero action show!

And, like, that's not just for children. (Although: do not let any of these men instruct children.) I'm an adult, and I definitely would not want to spend time with these guys. The show's funny, and I love how crazy they all are, but, like... to watch on TV. I would never, ever want to be in the same room as Otoya or Nago, because they're lunatics. Even Wataru is a shy/infatuated teenager, and I am not looking to spend time with someone like him. He's a very compelling character to follow over the course of a TV series, but I can't deal with some real-life mumbling teenager who is dating a supernatural executioner. No thanks!

But, setting aside how No Thanks the entire premise of this HBV was, I still enjoyed it. The stars have some great chemistry, the fights are a great reminder of how kneecapped this show has been without the Arms Monster forms, and there're "bad” endings where Nago scrubs your back in the bath and Otoya teaches you how to flirt with a mannequin. It is the most Not For Kids children's entertainment around, and I dug it.