[Kamen Rider Die]

KAMEN RIDER ZI-O: FINAL STAGE



I was all ready to enjoy a fun stage production of Kamen Rider Zi-O, since I liked both the Zi-O TV show and the previous year’s Build stage show (the latter quite a bit), so imagine the disturbingly loud UGHHH that I uttered when I became aware that this stage show:

• was a sequel to Over Quartzer, a film I very much did not enjoy
• starred Hiryuu as its villain, a character that would be laughable in his one-note stupidity if the show would finally lean into it instead of continuously presenting his MY PARENTS ARE DEAD characterization as worthy of consideration
• involved hunting for collectibles that celebrated Showa, a thing I do not truck with

So, yeah, this thing was working at a deficit, and I’m not sure it ever really moved into the positive. Even by the lowered standards of a Kamen Rider stage show, the plot in this thing is dumb. Hiryuu has the power of the Quartzers SOMEHOW. He brainwashed Woz and Tsukuyomi SOMEHOW. The Another Riders are running around SOMEHOW. They drop Showa Ridewatches SOMEHOW. Nothing in here feels tethered to any story logic or continuity, making me feel entirely like an adult who is stuck watching children’s entertainment. I like to think of Kamen Rider shows as smart about dumb things, and dumb about smart things. This was just Dumb, pretty much from curtain to curtain.

But does anyone care? I mean, the people making this definitely didn’t, and the intended audience clearly didn’t. It’s a stage show, and I feel like the occasions where those are clever (Build) are the exception. Most of them are just 30-odd minute chances to watch suit actors wrestle each other while lasers and smoke machines dazzle a group of children. That’s it. Why pretend there’s some higher art to it all? There’s a part where kids get to shout to rally the Kamen Riders; this is where we’re at.

What little thematic work there is ends up being sort of sweet, this big-hearted embrace of Kamen Rider and repudiation of pointless divisions. Showa, Heisei, Reiwa… it’s all just Kamen Rider, so why draw lines? (This message is only for children; adults are totally justified in disregarding decades of celebrated storytelling just because they find the aesthetics nauseatingly janky.) It does it in a charmingly complex display of Heisei versions of Showa guys, and by pointing out that Zi-O’s Heisei-powered cast will still be fighting in the Reiwa era.

That gag, the convoluted "Heisei’s Showa Riders" thing, is what I wish this production had more of. It’s pretty straight-faced, all the way through, and I find that uncharacteristic and dull. Kamen Rider Zi-O’s a goofy show, and this stage production only really leans into that energy in the final few minutes. The cast breaking the fourth wall is a highlight, and gets some of the biggest reactions in the entire play. Like, the stage show is a chance to bring a live energy to this franchise, but this show feels choreographed within an inch of its life. (It really doesn’t help that it’s suit actors for about 90% of this thing.) I wanted something that used the live audience and the stage to say something new with the cast and characters of Zi-O, but this show was just Kamen Rider Zi-O On Stage.

By some very reduced standards, this thing was fine. A ton of suits, a new Armor Time, a few Legend Rider suits, an actual Legend Rider voice cameo (TAKAYAMA JIN IS FOR THE CHILDREN!!!), and a whole bunch of smoke machines make for an entertaining enough half-hour. But I really hoped for more with this thing.

Ah, well. At least Hiryuu was forever-murdered for the crime of loving Showa more than Heisei. That’s winning me over a bit.