[Kamen Rider Die]

LET’S LOOK! ONLY YOUR 48 RIDERS - EPISODES 1-12



Net Movies! Is there any more precious resource in all of Heisei? Reiwa’s had its fun with social media as a resource for weird-ass crap – I genuinely enjoy the various Gavv Dance videos – and the TTFC stuff has been agreeably bizarre and non-canonical of late – the Hades Sisters sketches were a highlight for Gotchard’s production – but there’s something special about the firehose of Net Movie material that this era of Kamen Rider turned out, you know? It’s absolutely bonkers, and clearly a creative team having fun with the format. If Episodes 27 and 28 of OOO were an HBV story on a TV budget, these things are an HBV story on a fan film budget. (Kivat’s a non-moving puppet on a very visible stick!!!) These are super fun, and I can’t believe I passed them up the first time I watched OOO.

As much as I love them, however, you are out of your mind if you think I’m watching FORTY-F***ING-EIGHT OF THEM in a row. We’ll be partsing this content out over four nights, in order to both maximize my enjoyment of the material and minimize my exhaustion with the material. Let’s Look at what the first dozen specials taught us!

-How to defeat your girlfriend’s disapproving father with earnestness and a minor amount of surprise physical combat
-How to defeat a picky eater through forcefulness and a lack of clarity regarding germs
-How to defuse tension with a friend by wearing the same underwear at the same time
-How to be a good member of the Kamen Rider fan community by holding a grudge against the production team for 18 goddamn years, and using a public platform to air every minor grievance you can think of as quickly as you can think of them
-How to, uh, use drumsticks instead of chopsticks??? (This one feels like the last sketch the team thought up, and they just wanted to be done.)
-How to see beyond surface impressions and understand that big people do not like being seen as just “big people”, even if literally the only thing J ever does in team-up films is grow big
-How to change your luck through accessorizing with specific colors, with the only visible consequence being that you may become embroiled in Japanese language puns
-How to cheat at cards, which is more Villainous than Heroic, but what do I know, I’m not Kivat
-How to defeat your girlfriend’s disapproving father with flattery and a minor amount of seduction
-How to defeat a picky eater through forced starvation and a lack of table manners, resulting in the picky eater’s questioning of their life goals
-How to defuse tension with a friend by inducing existential despair through the application of Kamen Rider Mitski Subreddit
-How to be a good member of the Kamen Rider fan community by holding a grudge against the production team for 28 goddamn years, and using a public platform to air every minor grievance you can think of as quickly as you can think of them

All this, with only two blatant horoscope errors: An erroneous match suggestion that Punchhopper’s best friend would be anyone other than Kickhopper, and an erroneous match suggestion that Punchopper’s rival would be anyone other Kickhopper. Good set of Net Movies!