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Kamen Rider Die watches Kamen Rider Zero-One (and builds SO-DO)
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11-14-2022, 10:10 PM
#
1034
Kamen Rider Die
Kamen Ride Or Die
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 6,153
KAMEN RIDER ZERO-ONE SHORT ANIME: EVERYONE’S DAILY LIFE
SPECIAL GUEST POST BY DREAMSWORD
There are alot of threads in these forums. Some you can be choosy about whether you read them or not, but others can have a big impact on how you view and interact with others. Today I'd like to tell you a story about one such thread creator who certainly influenced me.
There once was a man called Kamen Rider Die. In any attempt to vent his frustrations, he joined a random Toku board known as TokuNation to shout about
Kamen Rider Ghost
.
"I can't believe what this show is doing to me!" he'd exclaim.
And amidst all of the excitement, his beloved SO-DO Ryuki figure popped out of his pocket and ended up falling into a nearby sewer drain.
"MY SO-DO FELL INTO THE SEWER!?" he'd exclaim.
Die quickly scurried over to the open sewer drain, and to his surprise, it was currently occupied!
"The heck? Are you a Ninja Turtle!?" he'd exclaim.
And out from the sewer drain arrived a man known as Name.
"Actually I'm an Avenger. Anyway, a few things dropped down here a second ago. Was it a SO-DO Build Genius or a SO-DO Hazard Build? Or if ya like, we do got some neat anime down here you could watch." Don't ask why Name would ask any of these questions.
Die replied with "Do you have
Naruto
!?" his all time favorite anime.
Name stared at Die dead in the eyed and asked "Why the heck would I have
Naruto
? You know what, you're not allowed down in my sewer anymore." And with that he dropped back down into the sewer drain.
But then suddenly En-chan appeared out of the same sewer!
"Do you have my SO-DO!?" Die exclaimed.
"Sorry man, I only collect DX Toys." En-chan then too sank back into the sewers.
Distraught and unsure of what to do, Die then for some reason went all the way to the UK to try and make sense of his predicament. There he came across a man known as Androzani. Die would attempt to plead with the man, only to later find himself leaving the area after having bought a ton of roleplay belts while in some sort of trance.
Die, now convinced he had gone crazy, decided to continue on with his reviews and outlook on the various
Kamen Rider
shows, all while building and stickering various SO-DO figures as a means to fill the void left by losing his beloved Ryuki. His own sort of punishment game, if you will.
However, this would in turn inspire others to begin writing their own reviews. Some in agreement with Die, some not, but all aimed towards the common goal of outlook and discussion. But that was not enough. He needed more. He then one day realized that some random guy called DreamSword had begun to muscle in on his turf, and, when the moment was hot, hijacked DreamSword's own thread to review the
Zero-One
anime shorts. It lead to many a great applause, and despite the ill fated Ryuki figure not returning, the void was filled via tons of other Ryuki-related content (drained from DreamSword).
So as you can see, the lesson here is that Die will always find a way to one-up the competition, by any means necessary. Which is why it's such an honor that he brought me in to review the
Zero-One
anime shorts for him as I am the Only Anime Fan on these entire boards and really, who else would be qualified, right? So without further ado, let's start with... with...
Die's right behind me, isn't he?
Man, after I so kindly pitched in on
DreamSword’s anime thread
, this is the thanks I get? Unbelievable.
Hi, yes, Kamen Rider Die here. I watched this anime!
Pretty excellent batch of shorts to send off this Zero-One thread, which is a very pleasant surprise. I’m not really an anime guy, so when DreamSword volunteered to cover them in detail for his Toku Anime thread, I was like They’re 1000% Yours. But then everything else got done, and I had a night, so I figured I’d give them a once over, even if it’s just to direct everyone to DreamSword’s more robust analysis from the perspective of an anime aficionado.
Except, I liked them? A lot?
It helps that they’re barely animated. The emphasis isn’t on dazzling fight scenes or emotive facial expressions or staggering set design. This is some Flash-era stuff, possibly fully animated on a Nokia N-Gage. (I have not checked the Wiki!) The charm of it - and it is SO CHARMING - is in the vocal performances, and the increasing absurdity of the episodes.
Like, first episode? I did not think this was going to work for me. It’s cute, Izu sort of torturing Aruto, but it’s only one joke. Good joke, but: one joke. The second episode’s in the same vein, where Yua tortures Fuwa at a theme park. Fuwa’s inability to match Yua’s food-and-terror routine is a good gag, but it doesn’t really change or grow as the episode progresses.
Then we get to the MetsubouJinrai episode.
Maybe
the best MetsubouJinrai thing of all time, and that’s before the bonus segment where the actors
actually play MetsubouJinrai Game
. (OF COURSE Ikazuchi loses. And Naki wins!!!) It’s such a fantastic bit of escalating comedy, as the Humagears get more and more obsessed with this goofy party game, and the punishments get more baffling. (Naki flirting with Ikazuchi was absolutely the best one, which is why it ended up in the credits.) I wish this episode had been the plot of 01hers: Kamen Rider MetsubouJinrai instead of what we got, and I
liked
that movie.
The remaining two episodes are very good (Gai as just the most annoying anchor for ZAIA employees is brilliant), but this series peaks
hard
at Episode 3. Nothing in the world is going to measure up to MetsubouJinrai Game, which is likely why the game returns in Episode 5, giving us the hilarious image of four Humagears teaming up to force Aruto’s loss. It’s the most thrilling defeat, and I wish it were how the Ark-One story concluded.
These little barely-animated bits of humor were such a nice way to wrap up Zero-One. It’s like the gag video at the end of a season of television, where the curtain gets pulled back a little in celebration of getting to the end. It’s funny, but overwhelmingly warm and kind. This is how I want to remember these goofballs. Just like this.
okay maybe not just like
that
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