[Dr Kain]

Ghosts of Mars - Wow, this is like the greatest movie ever. The acting is so great. I love seeing everyone having one emotion. I love how the editing of the movie is all over the place. I love the music to the movie. I... oh **** it, this movie sucks balls!!! Now I remember why I forgot what happened in the entire movie, it just blows. How the hell is this a John Carpenter movie? The entire concept is just stupid and the "plot" is boring. It's like they had no idea what to do with the movie and just filmed random crap and then stitched it together while doing countless action scenes just to fill up the time. There is nothing positive I can say about this movie at all and I give it a generous 1/10 stars. I really can't give it a 0 as that would mean putting it on the same level as Battlefield Earth (what I consider to be the worst movie ever made) and it is at least battle than that.

[Dr Kain]

Dracula - As always, the movie moves at a slow pace but is still very enjoyable to watch, especially with the Philip Glass score attached to it. While Bela is not my favorite incarnation of Dracula, he pulls off the performance extremely well, but I actually like this version of Van Helsing the best out of any of the incarnations of this story. He might not be an expert with guns (at least on screen), but I really like his personality and the actor who plays him. I also have to say that Universal did a fantastic job remastering this movie for BD. The blacks look incredible, the shadows stand out, and they got rid of the majority of scratch marks and imperfections within the film. I have never seen it look this great and everyone that enjoys this movie should get the BD of it. Overall, I give it a n 8/10.

John Carpenter's Vampires - I haven't seen this movie since it first came out to VHS and I remember why now. The movie isn't bad by any means, and it is better than most of the vampire movies out there (especially these days), the music is great, but the movie is just boring to watch. Plus, it is still missing that John Carpenter cinematography charm the likes of Halloween, The Thing, Escape from NY, They Live, and The Fog have. I don't hate the movie by any means, but I probably will never bother to watch it again and I give it a 4/10.

Bram Stoker's Dracula - This is without a doubt my favorite incarnation of Stoker's story in movie form and one of my favorite movies of all time. The set designs, the costumes, the clothing are all gorgeous. The music is incredible and the atmosphere rocks with a lot of colors and beautiful backgrounds. Not to mention Gary Oldman absolutely steals the show as the best Dracula ever done in the media thus far. There are some negatives I have with the movie, as I'm sure they could have chosen someone better for Jonathan and Mina, but they fulfill their roles nicely to bring justice to Stoker's novel compared to the other incarnations. Of course, I do wish there was a bit more of Renfield in this movie, for Tom Waitts was excellent, but that is just something minor in a movie that I consider to be a masterpiece. Overall, I give it a 9/10 and it is nice to see all of Dracula's powers used throughout the entire thing instead of just being mentioned.

[Dr Kain]

Zombie Halloween - Holy ****, if I thought this movie was bad before, it just got a whole lot worse, if for nothing else, for the fact that IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!!! The movie spends 50 minutes developing a character that Carpenter developed in 10 minutes. Not to mention Carpenter's version was full of suspense and mood. What the hell does this movie do? Throw in blood after blood and ups the body count by like 300,000. However, nothing even comes out of the development of Michael because it was all pointless. Why do we need 50 minutes spent on a character that does not need developing when that should have gone to giving me a reason to care about this version's Annie, Laurie, and Lynda. It's like Zombie figured you have seen the original so he doesn't need to give those three any sort of development and wastes no time killing them off (or trying to kill them off). Not to mention Danielle Harris was a much better actress when she was 8 because her acting in this movie absolutely sucks. However, the worst part is that Michael's motivations just do not make any sense. In the original he killed Laurie's friends to get at her, but here, he kills nurses, doctors, janitors, truckers, cops, and other random people just for the hell of it. However, it is the fact that he brings Laurie to his house that makes the least sense. What was the point of it? He should have just killed her when he first grabbed her. Oh my god this movie sucks!!!! The only reason I can give this movie a 1/10 is because Zombie pretty much just ripped off Carpenter's score for this pointless and insulting remake. Oh yeah, and because McDowell seems to just go with the flow of the movie and pulls off what he can with what he has to work with. The movie drags on for far too long, wants us to feel sorry for Michael by dragging out his stay at the madhouse while butchering any sort of characterization for the characters we are supposed to care about.

Ugh, I have ranted for far too long on this movie, but it will get worse because my retarded ass is watching Halloween II tomorrow. I really shouldn't, but I cannot help myself.

[Locke]

So I went to check out How I Live Now largely because I knew it wouldn't last five minutes in our cinema, more than really having any interest in it. And I was damn pleasantly surprised.

The sort of weird blend of Twilight and 28 Days Later is going to appeal to a very small crowd, as the key elements to the world of How I Live Now play second fiddle to the teen romance that only makes sense to the couple themselves, IE basically there is no action and events that would otherwise be the third act set piece of another movie, here largely play off screen and function majoritively as plot devices and nothing more. Plus the whole film is bleak in a way only a British film can be. But for those in that very small audience that this film appeals to, I think will adore this very much.

[Dr Kain]

Zombie Halloween II - I wish I could go on here and rant at oh my god how down right terrible this movie was. In fact, I was expecting to go in watching a down right terrible horror movie, but even that would have been better than what I got. What I got was something that was almost Battlefield Earth level bad. It was like Rob decided to make a sequel to The Devil's Rejects but throw Michael Myers into it. This movie does not make any sense at all. I could rant, but it isn't worth it. Instead of getting a down right terrible horror movie, I got one of the most boring movies I have ever seen. Nothing happens for 90 minutes and then when something does happen, it makes absolutely no sense and ends without a lick of sense to it. I give this movie a 0/10 stars. It did not even have anything from the music of the series until during the end credits.

[Matrixbeast]

I watched Hansel & Gretel, the Asylum one.
...Wow. That was bad
I really have no words. I was told it was a parody horror movie, but it played things seriously. So...Yeah.

[Dr Kain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matrixbeast

I watched Hansel & Gretel, the Asylum one.
...Wow. That was bad
I really have no words. I was told it was a parody horror movie, but it played things seriously. So...Yeah.

That's peoples excuse for anything Asylum just so they can justify wanting to like it.

[Matrixbeast]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Kain

That's peoples excuse for anything Asylum just so they can justify wanting to like it.

That doesn't surprise me...

[Locke]

I never got why people were so ashamed of liking bad movies, but then I was as equally annoyed when suddenly liking shit films became the cool thing to do and kids on tumblr started wiking the most obscure z-grade films they could find in an attempt to look cool.

[Matrixbeast]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

I never got why people were so ashamed of liking bad movies, but then I was as equally annoyed when suddenly liking shit films became the cool thing to do and kids on tumblr started wiking the most obscure z-grade films they could find in an attempt to look cool.

I can see the charm in some bad movies, be it the campiness, the ineptness, or whatever.
But then there are the movies that are just bad. They're not hilariously bad, or so bad it's good. It's just bad, doing enough wrong that it's hard to enjoy, but not taking that extra step into ridiculous territory. That middle ground of Bleh that a lot of Asylum films fall in.