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Come and share your jokes
Hello y'all.
This is a joke thread. I've decided to start a joke thread. Share jokes you've come up with or jokes you came across. Doesn't whether they're eye-groaningly terrible or stomach-achingly hilarious. Dad jokes, bad jokes, sad jokes, rad jokes. All jokes are welcome. Of course, all jokes must comply with Tokunation's rules:
Jokes are a great way to liven up one's mood, and by archiving jokes in this thread anyone from or who comes to Tokunation, users or guests, can be greatly benefited by this. Okay, everyone, start joking! https://media1.tenor.com/images/fe9c...temid=16276150 |
I'll start to kick things off then.
I was once kidnapped by mimes. They did unspeakable things to me. |
My life.
this is a joke. chill. |
A storm blew 25% off my roof last night.
Oof. |
Did you guys know what Bruce Lee had an older brother? I just read about him. Apparently he was a pretty well known vegetarian back in the day.
His name was Brock Lee. |
I refuse to ever take my kid to the orchestra.
There's too much sax and violins. |
This tale is set in Gold Rush days, when the place to be was the Yukon. Because wool and meat were so vital, sheep became very valuable. One of the wealthiest women in town was a tough old lady named Beatrice, who had moved there from Boston but had become so acclimated that everyone called her Yukoned Bea.
Bea owned 26 sheep, which she named for the letters of the alphabet. Ewe A, Ewe B, and so on. Bea ran the only hotel in town, but she was opposed to drinking, and wouldn't rent rooms to any man who had a hint of alcohol on his breath. This did nott sit well with the local saloon-keepers, Hiram Lovedaw and Hubert Loff, so they bet Bea that one of them could invent a drink that even her sharp nose couldn't detect. The winner would get her best sheep that year, which happened to be Ewe F. She agreed, and they went to work. Lovedaw's drink was called "Blue Lightning", and Loff called his Mountain Dew (this was long before the carbonated beverage of the same name). The day of the competition arrived, and Lovedaw went first. He took a long swig of Blue Lightning. Bea smelled his breath, and announced that she couldn't detect a thing. The it was Loff's turn, and Lovedaw was hoping that his friend would fail. Since, as we all know, If Yukoned Bea whiffed Dew on Hugh Loff, Lovedaw won Ewe F. |
Did you know that bread is like the sun?
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist. |
What did the police say to the boy who refused to sleep?
"I'm arresting you for resisting a rest!" |
So I decided I wanted to buy a stainless steel popcorn machine off Amazon since, hey, I love me some good popcorn and I already have Amazon Prime. As I go to check out, I notice that there's now an upgrade to Prime called "Amazon Prime X" which claims to deliver your order in 10 minutes or less.
And like, that's way too good to be true right? But hey, they're offering a free trial so shoot, let's try it. I get the trial, I pay for my popcorn machine, and I wait my 10 minutes. No sign of the order, so yeah, knew it was a load of crap. Until... KNOCK KNOCK OPEN UP THE DOOR IT'S REAL WITH THE NONSTOP POP POP AND STAINLESS STEEL X GONNA GIVE IT TO YA FUCK WAITIN' FOR YOU TO GET IT ON YER OWN X GONNA DELIVER TO YA |
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