[Klonoahedgehog]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

What I learnt, as an adult, is that trust becomes rarer and rarer. Education presents controlled environments, all the way to Uni, that forces people together to become friends both through deliberate friend making exorcises but also in the fact that you're just around each other all the time, by the time it gets to Uni you can literally end up living with them as well.

When you start work, it's really different. You may have people you get on with at work, while you're there, but whereas before all people were doing was going home to their Mum and their dinner by this age, it's more than likely that they are going to their own house to their own lives they are living. As such, even friendship that goes anywhere beyond the workplace is very very difficult to achieve, they have their own friends and their own lives already, let alone anything romantic, let alone even close trust built friendships.

Which is why my one goal when i enter uni is to get a Girlfriend.

[Locke]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matrixbeast

I actually don't think so. There's more to attraction and bonding than sex.

Oh of course, but if the sex ain't healthy, the relationship ain't healthy. At least from all of my experiences, and with talking to my friends and so on. Most people who say otherwise, also from my experiences, either wanna look good, or have just never had a good sex life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klonoahedgehog

Which is why my one goal when i enter uni is to get a Girlfriend.

I went to Uni with a girlfriend, which was a bad fucking idea. Rebounded in my second year. Then lived a single life for my third.

[KRX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

Oh of course, but if the sex ain't healthy, the relationship ain't healthy. At least from all of my experiences, and with talking to my friends and so on. Most people who say otherwise, also from my experiences, either wanna look good, or have just never had a good sex life.

I went to Uni with a girlfriend, which was a bad fucking idea. Rebounded in my second year. Then lived a single life for my third.

I'd rather have someone who I can connect with on a personal level than on a physical level. Yes, it might be an indicator of a good relationship, but I'd like to find someone who, not only cares for me, but I care for her. The kind of person I'd be willing to sit through a terrible movie for if it would make her feel better.

But those are just my romantic views.

[Matrixbeast]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

Oh of course, but if the sex ain't healthy, the relationship ain't healthy. At least from all of my experiences, and with talking to my friends and so on. Most people who say otherwise, also from my experiences, either wanna look good, or have just never had a good sex life.

*Shrugs* It's entirely possible.

[Locke]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRX

I'd rather have someone who I can connect with on a personal level than on a physical level. Yes, it might be an indicator of a good relationship, but I'd like to find someone who, not only cares for me, but I care for her. The kind of person I'd be willing to sit through a terrible movie for if it would make her feel better.

But those are just my romantic views.

Yeah but I can do that shit with my friends already, and there should be a difference between your best friend and your partner, even if your partner is one of your best friends as well.

[KRX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

Yeah but I can do that shit with my friends already, and there should be a difference between your best friend and your partner, even if your partner is one of your best friends as well.

Well, yeah, there should be differences, and I would do that for most of my friends, but I think the main difference is how you feel. Yes, I care for my friends and cherish them all, but it's not the kind of love I associate with the romantic side of things. Now, I probably don't know what the romantic kind feels like, (although I have had this strange, but pleasant, feeling in my chest when I think about certain things related to a person,) but I think you get the point.

[Locke]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRX

Well, yeah, there should be differences, and I would do that for most of my friends, but I think the main difference is how you feel. Yes, I care for my friends and cherish them all, but it's not the kind of love I associate with the romantic side of things. Now, I probably don't know what the romantic kind feels like, (although I have had this strange, but pleasant, feeling in my chest when I think about certain things related to a person,) but I think you get the point.

To be fair, I don't think I've ever loved anyone, beyond family. And even then.

My ex ex, who I moved in with and I was with her for years, was someone I claimed to 'love' but it was my first serious relationship, built on a bed of teenage hormones and a deep personal tragedy so of course everything felt big and end of the world like, but I was also way too naive and innocent to feel love at that point. I laugh in the face of people who are like sixteen and claim to love someone, they probably don't even know what a pulled muscle feels like yet.

You can only truly comprehend what love is, when you've been with enough people, something else a lot of people who want to look noble won't admit.

[KRX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke

To be fair, I don't think I've ever loved anyone, beyond family. And even then.

My ex ex, who I moved in with and I was with her for years, was someone I claimed to 'love' but it was my first serious relationship, built on a bed of teenage hormones and a deep personal tragedy so of course everything felt big and end of the world like, but I was also way too naive and innocent to feel love at that point. I laugh in the face of people who are like sixteen and claim to love someone, they probably don't even know what a pulled muscle feels like yet.

You can only truly comprehend what love is, when you've been with enough people, something else a lot of people who want to look noble won't admit.

That's why I'm unsure about myself romantically. I'm a young person, with hormones flying around all over the place, so what I might call love might be nothing at all.

[Powerman293]

I think for teenagers, dating could potential fuck up your maturity and mental growth. Sure, you gain experience of learning what kind of people you are interested in but I don't think a huge thing like dating is good for teenagers who are also trying to find out who they are. Of course, if you start having sex in high school, you're likely to become what I like to call a "One Night stander", someone who has the ideas that love is about the physical relationship and not the emotional one.

Now I'm not saying every teenager is going to have sex with every relativity hot person in their gender of interest but I guess this is why I don't deal with complex issues like this.

I have no girlfriend and I don't plan to get one anytime soon, although I do want to get skinnier so I am ready. I don't know what I expect out of a relationship, what I actually get, what she wants or what will happen when we break up. I'm more unprepared then anything. I guess couples find personailities similar to each other as a few of my female friends have boyfriends that are also my friends too and they both seem like good fits. One of my female friends is upbeat and quirky and into sports and the guy she is dating is moderately upbeat and quirky not as often.

So I am at square zero. Any beginning pointers?

[KRX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Powerman293

I think for teenagers, dating could potential fuck up your maturity and mental growth. Sure, you gain experience of learning what kind of people you are interested in but I don't think a huge thing like dating is good for teenagers who are also trying to find out who they are. Of course, if you start having sex in high school, you're likely to become what I like to call a "One Night stander", someone who has the ideas that love is about the physical relationship and not the emotional one.

Now I'm not saying every teenager is going to have sex with every relativity hot person in their gender of interest but I guess this is why I don't deal with complex issues like this.

I have no girlfriend and I don't plan to get one anytime soon, although I do want to get skinnier so I am ready. I don't know what I expect out of a relationship, what I actually get, what she wants or what will happen when we break up. I'm more unprepared then anything. I guess couples find personailities similar to each other as a few of my female friends have boyfriends that are also my friends too and they both seem like good fits. One of my female friends is upbeat and quirky and into sports and the guy she is dating is moderately upbeat and quirky not as often.

I choose not to date because it's against my religious beliefs. It does seem enjoyable, but I'd much rather have a long-term commitment like marriage and get it right the first time, so I can wait until I'm ready (which I have estimated to be about 25 years of age). A lot of people find this strange, but I've made my choice.

Quote:

So I am at square zero. Any beginning pointers?

Befriend them, and care about them. Make a connection, and communicate effectively. Don't forget to think with your mind as well as your heart.